Friday, April 08, 2005

Trusting Yourself

I've thought a lot on this lately. I read this , and it struck me again. If you are religious, please don't be offended, as I'm about to make a sweeping statement based on my own little corner of experience: I believe that many faiths have moved people away from trusting themselves, leaving them paralyzed and dependent on their Higher Power. When that Higher Power does not repond in the way they want him to - in other words, in a way that they do not understand or cannot "hear" - they behave weakly, badly, immaturely, or some combination therein. Again, this is my experience, no one else's. Part of my "Realities of Ourselves" writing was just that - learning to trust ourselves to control our evil desires. However, just as we must learn to trust ourselves in that way, we must also learn to trust ourselves in decisions we make. Too often, I find people paralyzed when they have to make a decision, relying on others' opinions rather than their own judgment. That is not to say you shouldn't get the thoughts of others on your problems - Lord knows, I do because I value the wisdom that life experience brings. But the decision is ultimately mine, and I make sure that I make it. I spent nearly 25 years allowing other people to make decisions for me. First, as a child, and then as an adult, those around me determined my mood, my attitude, who I was. I've spent the last two years discovering that I'm actually pretty trustworthy, despite my previous stupidity, and while I am by no means perfect, I am able to make relatively intelligent decisions on my own. Another benefit of this is that though with some things, I have to stay on myself to do them (like billing and invoicing for my business!), other things I can sit aside and know that I will come to a point where I will know that it is time to deal with them. Do you know what a relief that is? I spend so much time stressed out - that is part of what makes me tick - that being able to let go of some of my stress is an incredible feeling. Try it sometime - trust yourself to make decisions in your life. You might be surprised.