Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Tough Is As Tough Does

As usual, I'm right. No, I'm not being cocky. I'm being realistic. I am usually right - about the bad stuff. I can't predict a good thing to save my soul, but when it comes to guessing the evil in people, I've got the nose. As I had posted earlier, I was described as being "tough" in regards to my suspicions over my mother's recent interest in conversing with me. I really struggled with this, as I did not want to go overboard just because I was suspicious. I was right. There is a difference between being "tough" and suspicious, and being defensive. I'm always on the defensive with those I don't trust. Nope, I don't ignore first impressions, and I'm not much on giving people the benefit of the doubt. I watch, try to be fair, and (I try really hard) try not to jump to conclusions. I received a very interesting parable from a gentleman named Victor, which suggested that when we know what someone is, we should not be surprised when they act accordingly.
A story. There was once a frog and a scorpion and a river. The scorpion did not swim and asked the frog to take him to the other side. The frog said but you are a stinger - I am afraid you sting me. I will die and you will drown. The scorpion said no I will not sting you, I do not want to hurt or be hurt anymore. So the frog allows the scorpion on his back and starts swimming over. The scorpion stings the frog and the frog says ouch! What have you done? Now we both die and it is your fault. The scorpion says no it is not my fault. You knew what I was when you gave me a ride.
Victor referred to himself as an old man - of which I can only assume is true. He is also a wise man. Trusting yourself is more than just about taking chances and being confident. It is also about knowing when to pull back and observe, and weigh the damage. I am glad I did not rush out on one limb or another, but sat on my log and considered. I'm much safer this way. And as things have panned out, much smarter, as well.