Saturday, April 16, 2005

Foolish Women

Courtesy of the AnalPhilosopher, I found this link. Andrea Dworkin is not someone I am familiar with. I am going to attempt to read a few of her pieces, just to get an idea of what was going on. I do have a few thoughts on her statements, as quoted in this piece. Keep in mind, they are out of the context in which she said them, so I'm going to go with what I believe them to mean - it could be different than the "reality." Dworkin commented that a battered woman's reality is lost and she "cannot find it anywhere." Oh, contraire. While it is true that at one time in our history, women were abused without much thought, in the United States in the last 20 years or so, that has not been the case. As an abused wife, I ignored my reality, as it was easier than dealing with it. But it was found, because I made that choice. There are too many avenues, too many sources, through which to attain help. This is no longer an excuse. It might take a while to gain the strength to deal with it, but for those who want to, there is a way out. Sometimes, it just feels easier to stay in the abuse. Dworkin's railing against pornographers was absolutly ridiculous. These women are paid, they choose this life. It is not forced on them. Many of them are on drugs, and use it to pay for their habit. Those who are actually viewing it as a career....well, again, that is their choice. You cannot blame the person behind the camera - which, I might add, there are female pornographers now. If you want to attack the "art form," then attack those that make it possible: the men and women who do it, and the men and women that buy it. These are not victims of a crime. They are people with choices. Persuade them that another way is better, and you'll see a change in the system. Regarding the abuse that these women deal with....there are many ways to make money in this country. It all depends on how much you are content on making. What bothers me, from what I've heard and read about the woman, is that she did not hold women responsible for their own part in what happens to them. Instead, she expected the world to change for women. Sue pornographers, blame male supremacy, view all men as sexual predators, but don't train women to stop looking and acting like a victim, having pride in who they are, and realizing that they don't have to be abused to be loved. I'm sorry - yes, there are situations in which people are in impossible straits. But for the most part, we put ourselves here. Look, I was raised in a terrible atmosphere - I couldn't make a single damn decision well. And yes, I lay blame at the feet of my parents for not leaving me with good decision-making skills and pride in myself. I also take credit for the fact that it was still my decision, and regardless of who did what, I have my own mistakes to account for and repair. No one else can fix it but me. I am not going to ask for everyone around me to make up for something that wasn't their fault either! I have a supreme amount of sympathy for women in these situations, and I am not even referring to those who have been brutally raped, but we have to work on ourselves, not live as victims and try to make the world turn around us. That is where the power lies. I don't care whether there is a man or a woman in charge. I don't care if the entire world is run by men. If women continue to stand on their own two feet, have pride, and refuse to be belittled, we have won anyway. It doesn't matter who does what. I've just realized something. This is all a power-play. This is not about the good of women and women getting ahead. This is simply about power. If it WAS about women, it would be about losing the victim mentality. Instead, we use the victim mentality as a way to get power. It is a female manipulation, and a classic one, at that. Wow. I just had an epiphany. For those of you who are already onto this, be patient. I had the umbilical cord wrapped too tightly around my neck, and I was supposed to be brain damaged. I make no guarantees....;)