Friday, February 11, 2005

Less Monologues, More Miles Logged

The original title of my post was going to be "Appropriate Sexism" - until I read today's post by the Hatemonger's Quarterly. Besides their usual biting humor, I found a link to this article. Besides being absolute whining at its worst, it once again proves that some women are determined to be a victim. I'm going to write the thoughts I came to express, and then I'm going to give a couple of, um, thoughts on this article. Edited for content. Sorry. Now, to return to our friendly little article....too many women have this issue with their femininity and how they are viewed by men. The funny thing is, there are plenty of men out there who are perfectly aware of the intelligence of women. We are not pigeon-holed by our genitalia, unless we allow ourselves to be. I may or may not ever have children - that is my choice, just as it is also my choice to move ahead at my job. There are a crap load of people who have been sexually abused - we make it through, and get on with life. It is up to you to let it rule your life or not. However, the author also decided to add this thought:
Many working class whites uphold an image of ourselves as moral, pious people but this hides an all too common reality of abuse, incest and rape. Instead of addressing the real issues in our communities, we transfer our own filth and pain onto people of color. Addressing abuse is even more difficult for women of color though, because they are airing not only theirs and their family’s “dirty laundry” but also that of their race. Women of color must balance their need and right to be honest with the awareness that such admissions will be seen by many whites as proof of their group’s backwardness.
Perhaps I missed something, but where the hell does this fit into her article? She takes a sudden diversion to take pot-shots at white people, and then returns to her moaning. Notice she makes the racist assumption that a "woman of color" would be abused by a man "of color" (I love the way she uses those terms). I hate to break it to her, but when I think of sexual and/or physical abusers, I see young to middle-age white men in wife-beaters, old white men with beady eyes, and young, hot-headed men of any race. I really don't assume a race, and I sure as hell don't assume a black woman is limited to date her own race. Is this author right in the head, or just stuck in the era before civil rights? She also addresses why women date creeps - they want macho guys more than they desire good guys, and their sexuality is a mystery to them. I have to agree with her on this. Women are not always raised to appreciate their sexuality, or to value it. And as a young girl raised to want a man to "take care of me," it is often confused with macho, arrogant men. However, if you don't learn by the time you are an adult that there are better things out there, then you are clearly not looking around, watching TV, or listening to romantic music. And as for understanding your sexuality - one good orgasm should help you figure out that there is something worth exploring. But even so, I'll give her the points. I do not, however, think we need to talk more about vaginas. Less talk, more realization and action towards what we desire in life. Sitting around and talking about the holes that make us different breeds contempt and victimhood. Standing up and taking charge of our lives actually accomplishes our dreams.