Real Men Only
Anyone who reads my blog with any regularity is well aware of my opinion of how society is treating men. I have received several e-mails from one reader who put an interesting spin on it. These were sent as comments on my male questionnaire.
Ally: I see men in their early 20's as completely different specimens than men after, say, 50, so responses to your questions will be slanted accordingly--probably significantly. Mother Nature imbued men with an inordinate "itch" that short-circuits the brain for 25+ years. Once hormones level off, the brain can function (Ahhh....at last!!!). It is THIS turn of events that is interesting to me as a wife is selected in an induced stupor that eventually clears leaving husbands finally seeing the real person they married across the table each morning munching on her corn flakes. Alas, Mother Nature has no use for men (and women) after child-bearing years and leaves older marrieds to their own devices. Sex is a "lubricant" to a relationship...evening bumpy roads. Without it BOTH partners are forced to re-evaluated their lives and relationships. In essence, at 21 a stump with a little perfume and lipstick suffice for a man. Past 50 and grey matter becomes vital. ALL marriages transition from husband and wife to brother and sister. Roles invariably change, often dramatically and unexpectedly. And, sorry to say, often sadly. I fail to see how it could be otherwise given the hand Nature has dealt us. As I wrote to analphilosopher, males were wired by Mother Nature to be faster and stronger and more "virile" than women so as to keep multiplication roaring. Mother Nature INTENDED males to be violent rapists. Male homo-sapiens are now in the docket, being prosecuted for their wiring. Perhaps civilization requires it, but few comprehend its effects on men, much less sympathize. Mother Nature, in Her eagerness to maintain species, went a little too far when bestowing the male "itch." Society is restoring "balance." This requires than men are looked at as anachronistic, in dire need of being "saved." Alas, society is rejecting maleness and tossing out the good with the bad with, dare I say, unintended consequences? I am torn because you cannot bloviate about "men being men" to a rape victim. But is society better off if men are neutered? Or, even, would there be LESS rape if men (and their "wiring") were more fully understood and accounted for? Perhaps they have a subconscious (violent?) reaction to being universally targeted for re-wiring and who they ARE is, essentially, plaguing mankind (women!). So deep down (subconsciously) men realize women have come to despise them and all the men who came before them BECAUSE of what Mother Nature imbued them with. Women have come to resent men AND Mother Nature. They want to FIX IT!!! For men so inclined, rape and abuse against those bent on their castration isn't a stretch. In the end, do we "work around" men's wiring...or kill him on the operating table? Men AND women have natural positives and negatives. Only men face annihilation despite the positives. This from a happily married man of 35 years. And long married parents. Go figure. Name Withheld WisconsinHis second e-mail:
Ally: ....My point was that Nature hard-wired males to "follow their itch." In non-human species, would anyone NOT classify this as rape? Indeed, I have a long-standing request to several of my friends: name for me the non-human female species that enjoys sex. The only variance to this would be the (non-human) female that does her best to SELECT which male is going to rape her...!!! From this backdrop the human male evolved. Various factors lead him to throttle down native instincts, not the least of which is to conform to society's wishes. So my overall point is that of the two (or three...?) sexes, it is human MALES that face a life of masking, inhibiting, or controlling their basic instincts--not women. Oh, we are all animals so certain limits are required of both sexes, but men are having their ESSENCE besmirched. So while civilized men do NOT rape, it is only because they have taken it upon themselves NOT to follow their instincts! Is there a similar core struggle in women going on that I don't know about? And do women get up each morning and get bombarded with how awful they are? (Men either cave or get.......angry) Castration? Again, the DEED will never take place (one would hope...), but the net EFFECT is the same. They will use more acceptable terms like getting in touch with his feelings or heeding his FEMININE side. Maybe put something in the water... After all, how long before the long list of awful things MEN do will hit its target? Hells bells, half of MEN are now in agreement: masculinity is passe and a curse upon society! So some sort of "gentling" drug slipped into our water? (Ahem, check out ritalin for little BOYS...! A beginning...) "Men are forced to control themselves while women are babied and allowed to express their emotions freely without restraint and then given excuses for it." Right. MEN are forced to........ WOMEN are allowed....... So my concern is men have come to resent not only women, but society. Perhaps without even knowing it. MEN are under constraints. MEN must be watched. MEN are...animals. Ayn Rand was powerful to me IN that she realized both men and women had their masculine and feminine sides. For EITHER sex to cull their masculinity was a grievous error. Her heroines were all highly rational, decisive, intellligent, AND sexy. To her intelligence ALWAYS trumped emotion...be it male or female. Sexual attraction and romantic love to Rand was based on one thing: the other person embodied/represented YOUR ideal person. (God grant you find him or her before hitting 50!!!!!!!!!!!) Oh, emotions could factor in, but when the rubber met the road INTELLIGENCE must prevail. Our aim in life should be to develop our gray matter as best we can and then USE it as best we can--NEVER opting for emotion winning out. Society is swinging towards emotionalism. And it seems like most of the women are in the fold and half the men. "Objectivism" is Rand's mantra. Reason winning out over emotions. Always. Always. Sorry to bore. But I see this male/female thing as the lynchpin in MOST of the goings-on today. In reality, it is reason vs. emotion. Unfortunately, women get linked with emotionalism and men with reason (where BOTH sexes can and should fully embrace reason!). Hence men AND reason are under the gun. Most of the crap I see going on all around me (and driving me nuts) boils down to this and only this: people (both sexes) are discarding reason for emotion. Why? It's EASIER to feel than to think. Blame prosperity and the resultant laziness.While I would argue against his claim that the urge to rape is natural to men (female species have always had the ability to turn down sexual advances from the male of the species and walk away; therefore, it is not rape), their nature towards violence is a psychological fact. Men are typically more violent than women, beginning as babies and continuing through childhood and adulthood. That men are animals....again, I don't agree. We are definitely wired differently, and as a heterosexual female, I'm glad. But hey, this is a man calling his own gender animals, so take that as you will. I posted these e-mails to lead into the following post from Kim Du Toit's blog. It is entitled "The Pussification Of The Western Male." I welcome any responses you may have. You can e-mail me here.