Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Bumper Stickers

These have to be the dumbest invention ever. I do not know who thought sticking practically permanent pieces of paper or plastic to your vehicle was a good idea, but they should be tortured for a very long time. Take a look around - I still see Dukakis/Mondale stickers! And now, with this Kerry-Edwards fervor around here, the bumper stickers abound. What makes no sense to me is why they include names on these sticky atrocities. If it were me, looking for that oh-so-necessary political slogan to have blazen across my back hatch, I'd be looking for something that would meet several criteria: 1. A cause I would believe in for at least the time during which I own my vehicle. 2. A statement that would not show me to have lost if the correct candidate does not win. 3. A slogan that paints an image of my character and who I am. Think about it: whether you have Bush-Cheney or Kerry-Edwards on your bumper, what does it say about you? It might suggest with which party you are registered, but what does it say about what you believe? Do you believe in pro-choice? Or pro-life? Are you fiscally conservative or fiscally liberal? What social policies do you agree with? Are you willing to limit yourself to all the stances one candidate takes? Or would you want people to know that just because you support George Bush, you are also a proponent of gay marriage? To me, these little bits of fly paper are so shallow and limiting. I would never put a GWB bumper sticker on my car, because while I support him in the war effort, I find his social program policy offensive....and I want the opportunity to say that before someone knows for whom I am going to vote. I would much prefer, if you have to put something on your car that will no doubt destroy the paint and cheapen its worth, at least go with something in which you truly believe, and not some candidate that may not even be known in 5 years. Okay, I admit, my favorite sticker so far is "Keep Honking: I'm reloading."